Life Lessons Learned

When you live long enough, you learn a lot. Experience is a great teacher.

I don’t claim to be an authority on anything, especially life. Life is complicated. It takes you on a wild ride and likes to throw wicked curves. We all know about those wicked curves. They are the detours—the disappointments, drama, and heartache—that knock us down, bring us to our knees, and sometimes keep us there, praying for courage and guidance.

Eventually we all learn valuable lessons on how to have a sweet, satisfying life.

Live and learn may sound cliché, but you couldn’t ask for a better education.

Here’s what I’ve learned so far

1. You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.
2. We all have the power within ourselves to bring about positive change in our lives.
3. In the broad scheme of things, possessions add no real value to life. Nice to look at and satisfying in some ways, but unnecessary. Need proof? If you knew a tsunami was coming tomorrow, what would you save?
4. Being positive attracts positivity. It’s like a magnet and contagious. You smile; people smile. If you have a positive attitude, good things happen. It’s the law of attraction, and it does work.
5. Memories should be cherished. Take photos. Keep a journal. Create a scrapbook. Otherwise, you forget.
6. Inner peace is the key to happiness. When we are at peace with ourselves, love and happiness radiate from within and touch every phase of our lives. We have better relationships, more successful careers, greater satisfaction and overall pleasure, and are able to cope more easily with the wicked curves life sometimes throws.
7. Life is best enjoyed at a leisurely pace.
8. A lot of energy is wasted on teenage angst.
9. Friends really do come and go.
10. The moment is all there is. Worrying and planning for the future and replaying things that happened in the past just distract us from living fully in the moment. Let go of it all and focus on what you’re doing right now.
11. The past is important only inasmuch as it explains WHY we are WHERE we are in our lives.
12. People don’t change; they just grow older.
13. Being too proud to apologize is never worth it. It’s better to swallow your pride, say you’re sorry, and move on.
14. There are some circumstances over which we have no control; and, though we cannot control the actions of others, we CAN control our reaction to them.
15. Bitterness festers like an open wound and eats you from the inside out.
16. Goals aren’t as important as you think. If you work without them, it turns out you can do amazing things because you’re free to choose paths you couldn’t have foreseen when you had specific goals in mind.
17. Arguments are pointless.
18. One of the hardest things you will ever have to do is stop loving someone because they’ve stopped loving you.
19. No one knows what they’re doing as parents. We’re all doing the best we can and hoping we get it right.
20. When your child asks for your attention, give it. Kids grow up so fast you suffer whiplash. Be grateful and savor the moments you can spend with them. Show them life is joyful, let them feel they are loved, and give them the confidence and security they need to become amazing adults.
21. Support your children in pursuit of their dreams.
22. Real life is not like The Donna Reed Show or Leave It to Beaver.
23. Nurture and develop any special skills or talents you may have.
24. If you’re not earning a living doing something you love, it’s just a job.
25. Do what you love even if you don’t get paid for it.
26. Don’t go into debt. Spend less than you earn. Live on little. Go without until you have the money to pay cash.
27. Money talks.
28. The only way for a chance at winning the lottery is to buy a ticket.
29. Invest early. Save all you can. Watch your money grow. You’re going to need it when you get older.
30. If you make a lot of money, channel it to help others while you are alive.
31. I’m not cool—I’m never going to be a movie star, model, or Wall Street tycoon—and I’m cool with that. Life really takes off when you accept who you are and can just be yourself.
32. It’s easy to stand with the crowd. It takes courage to stand alone. If you find yourself swimming with all the other fish, go the other way. Be your own person.
33. For a better perspective, frame every so-called disaster with these words: “In five years, will this matter?”
34. The only kind of marketing you need is an amazing product. If your product is good, people will spread the word for you.
35. Never send an email or message that’s unfit for the eyes of the world. Along the same lines, and something my mom once told me, never commit to paper anything that can be used against you.
36. Reading is crucial.
37. Sometimes you have to light a fire beneath someone to propel them into action.
38. You do not die from a broken heart.
39. You will not experience everything. You will never read all the good books, watch all the best films, go to all the fabulous cities in the world, try all the top restaurants, or meet all the beautiful people; but that’s OK. Learn to enjoy the slice of life you do experience.
40. Making mistakes is not a bad thing; what’s bad is repeating the same mistakes ad nauseum.
41. There is nothing to hold you back, except yourself.
42. You don’t need to raise your voice to be heard. Sometimes speaking quietly and deliberately causes others to actually focus on what you’re saying.
43. Rest is more important than you think.
44. Sitting too much slows your metabolism. Instead, move, dance, run, play, walk.
45. A long, leisurely walk cures many problems. Want to lose weight and get fit? Walk. Want to enjoy life, but spend less money? Walk. Want to cure stress and clear your head? Walk. Want to meditate and live in the moment? Walk walk walk.
46. Fitness doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a long process that happens in little bits over a long period.
47. Losing weight isn’t only about dieting and cutting calories, carbs, and fat; it’s about making real changes to your lifestyle and eating habits.
48. The destination is just a tiny part of the journey. If you don’t pay attention, you’ll miss all the great things along the way.
49. Let go of expectations. So much stress, frustration, irritation, anger, and disappointment comes from things not turning out as we expect. Take all the expectations you have—for yourself, your life, your spouse, your kids, your coworkers, your job, the world—and toss them out. A life without expectations means you can accept reality as it is and people as they are. It’s a life where you don’t need to be disappointed or frustrated or angry . . . and if you are, you accept what’s happened, and then let it go.
50. Do good because you love doing good, and expect nothing beyond that. Too often we give something and expect to get an equal measure in return—recognition or at least some gratitude for our efforts. It feels better when you let go of that need, and just give.
51. Competition is rarely as useful as cooperation. Though our society is geared toward competition—survival of the fittest and that sort of rubbish—humans are meant to work together and pool our resources, allowing everyone to contribute what they can.
52. Bad things happen to good people.
53. Gratitude is one of the best ways to find contentment. We are often discontent in our lives and want more because we don’t fully realize how much we already have. Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, be grateful for the amazing gifts you’ve been given—loved ones, health and sight, music and books, nature and beauty, the ability to create, and everything in between.
54. Taste changes. Through the years I’ve loved Victorian décor, country, shabby chic, modern, minimalist, layered, browns, blues, white rooms, antiques, Persian rugs, sisal, full drapes, sheers, wicker shades, flea market finds, nothing but Pottery Barn, wall-to-wall carpeting, and hardwood floors. The list goes on and on. I’ve settled on a happy mix of eclectic, which is yet another “taste” I might outgrow.
55. One day, someone walks into your life and you can see clearly why it never worked out with anyone else.
56. All we are taught in schools and see in the media (news, films, TV, books, magazines, Internet) provides a worldview which we are expected to embrace. Don’t follow anything or anyone blindly. Question what people are telling you. Investigate alternatives.
57. Too often we judge people on too little information or relying on our own learned behavior and prejudices. Instead of judging, learn the art of empathy and keep an open mind. An open mind is receptive and willing to consider new ideas and different points of view. Though your opinions and values might not change, your way of thinking will. You learn to accept people for who and what they are. It is essential for self-growth to realize that people everywhere share the same human struggles. Understanding others helps us to better understand ourselves. We look at things differently. We grow more tolerant, forgiving, and compassionate; and, in the process, develop an acceptance of and genuine appreciation for others, our environment, and ourselves. When we learn to accept “what is” without passing judgment, our hearts open for a greater sense of love and peace.
58. It is never too late to start over.
59. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
60. There is something inherently wrong with people who do not like or have no compassion for animals.
61. Having a satisfying outlet for your creative energies is essential for inner peace.
62. When you travel and visit the places you read about in magazines, you realize that people everywhere are basically the same.
63. Life doesn’t always turn out the way we plan. Smile and shrug, “O well,” and move on to Plan B or C or D.
64. Less is sometimes more.
65. Life is exceedingly brief. You might feel like there’s a huge mass of time ahead of you, but it passes much faster than you think. One day you wake up and see someone in the mirror who looks older than you feel.

If I’ve learned anything at all, it’s that I know almost nothing and I’m often wrong about what I think I know. I still have a lot left to learn.

“Begin at once to live, and count each separate day as a separate life.” —Seneca proverb

Amen.

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