75 Life Lessons Learned

Live and learn might sound cliché, but when you live long enough, you learn a lot. Experience is a great teacher—you couldn’t ask for a better education.

I don’t claim to be an authority on anything, especially life. I’ve had my share of ups-and-downs and didn’t always handle myself well. I threw hissy fits and broke when I should have bent. Like a Monday-morning quarterback, I can tell you exactly what I should and should not have done at any given time during low points in my life. If I could go back, knowing what I know now, things would be different. It’s that easy. When you’re standing at the end, looking down the path you’ve already taken, you know where all the holes and ruts are and how to avoid them.

Life is complicated. It takes you on a wild ride and, at times, throws some wicked curves. Eventually, you can’t help but learn valuable lessons.

What I’ve learned

1. If you have a positive attitude, good things happen. It’s the Law of Attraction, and it does work.
2. People don’t change; they just grow older.
3. You never know your true strength until being strong is the only choice you have.
4. In the broad scheme of things, possessions add no real value to life. Nice to look at and satisfying in some ways, but unnecessary. Need proof? If you knew a natural disaster was coming tomorrow and would wipe out your town, what would you save?
5. Memories should be cherished and protected. Take photos. Keep a journal. Create a scrapbook. Otherwise, you forget.
6. Inner peace is the key to happiness.
7. Life is best enjoyed at a leisurely pace.
8. A lot of energy is wasted on teenage angst.
9. We all have the power within ourselves to bring about positive change in our lives.
10. Friends really do come and go.
11. The past is important only inasmuch as it explains WHY we are WHERE we are in our lives.
12. The moment is all there is. To live life fully, you have to forget the future, leave the past behind, and focus on what’s happening right now.
13. There are some circumstances over which we have no control. Accept what’s happened and move on.
14. We cannot control the actions of others, but can control our reaction to them.
15. Bitterness festers like an open wound and eats you from the inside out.
16. Plan for a trip, but go with flow and do what you want once you get there.
17. Arguments are pointless.
18. One of the hardest things you will ever have to do is stop loving someone who doesn’t love you.
19. Time heals all wounds.
20. No one knows what they’re doing as parents. We’re merely doing the best we can and hoping we get it right.
21. Never judge a book by its movie.
22. When your child asks for your attention, give it. Kids grow up so fast, be grateful for and savor the moments you can spend with them.
23. Value your parents and their history. Ask questions before it’s too late.
24. Support your children in the pursuit of their dreams.
25. Real life is not like a movie or anything on TV. Even the most-sincere portrayals are scripted, filmed on carefully chosen sets, meant to entertain and tell a story in a short amount of time. Real life is more complicated. An hour or so (more or less) isn’t enough time to resolve most real-life issues.
26. Develop and hone any special skills or talents you may have.
27. If you’re not earning a living doing something you love, it’s just a job.
28. Do what you love even if you don’t get paid for it. Write. Paint. Design websites. Make music. Nurture your creative side.
29. Stay out of debt. Spend less than you earn. Live on little. Go without until you have the money to pay cash.
30. Money talks.
31. Family are not always friends.
32. The only chance of winning the lottery is to buy a ticket.
33. Invest early. Save all you can. Watch your money grow. You’re going to need it when you get older.
34. If you make a lot of money, channel it to help others while you are still alive.
35. I’m never going to be a model, movie star, or millionaire—and I’m OK with that. Life really takes off when you accept who you are.
36. If you find yourself swimming with all the other fish, go the other way. Be your own person.
37. You get a better perspective when you frame every so-called disaster in your life with the words: “In five years, will this even matter?”
38. The only kind of marketing you need is an amazing product. If your product is good, people will spread the word for you.
39. Never send an email or message that’s unfit for the eyes of the world. Along the same lines, and something my mom once told me, never commit to paper anything that can be used against you.
40. Reading is crucial for personal development.
41. Sometimes you have to light a fire under someone to propel them into action.
42. You will not die from a broken heart.
43. You will not experience everything. You will never read all the good books, watch all the best films, go to all the fabulous cities in the world, try all the top restaurants, or meet all the beautiful people. Enjoy the slice of life you do experience.
44. Making mistakes is not a bad thing; what’s bad is repeating the same mistakes ad nauseum.
45. The only thing holding you back is yourself.
46. You don’t need to raise your voice to be heard. Sometimes speaking quietly and deliberately causes others to actually focus on what you’re saying.
47. Taking a nap in the middle of the day is not the horrible thing I thought it was as a child.
48. Sitting too much slows your metabolism to a crawl.
49. A long, leisurely walk cures many problems.
50. In a crowded room you can still feel lonely.
51. When you’re overweight, you are treated differently by people, and you have to overcompensate to receive the same attention you would if you were slim.
52. Losing weight isn’t only about dieting and cutting calories, carbs, and fat; it’s about making real changes to your lifestyle and eating habits.
53. Much of our stress, frustration, anger, and disappointment comes from things not turning out as we had expected.
54. Too often we give something and expect to get an equal measure in return—recognition or at least some gratitude for our efforts. It feels better when you let go of that need, and just give.
55. Competition is rarely as useful as cooperation.
56. Bad things happen to good people.
57. Never let the things you want make you forget the things you have.
58. Tastes change. Through the years I’ve loved Victorian décor, country, shabby chic, modern, minimalist, layered, browns, blues, white rooms, antiques, Persian rugs, sisal, full drapes, sheers, wicker shades, flea market finds, nothing but Pottery Barn, wall-to-wall carpeting, and hardwood floors. The list goes on and on. I’ve settled on a happy mix of eclectic, which is yet another taste I might outgrow.
59. One day someone walks into your life, and you can see clearly why it never worked out with anyone else.
60. All we are taught in school and see in the media (news, films, TV, books, magazines, Internet) is only half-true.
61. Don’t follow anything or anyone blindly. Question what people are telling you. Investigate alternatives.
62. Passing judgment on people is usually based on too little information or our own learned behavior and prejudices.
63. It is never too late to start over.
64. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
65. People do not always practice what they preach.
66. One day you wake up, look in the mirror, and see someone who looks older than you feel.
67. There is something inherently wrong with people who have no compassion for animals.
68. Having a satisfying outlet for your creative energies is essential for inner peace.
69. When you travel, you realize that people everywhere are basically the same.
70. Life doesn’t always turn out quite the way we plan.
71. Less is sometimes more.
72. Following the Golden Rule is a simple, yet effective, way to live.
73. Never discuss politics with someone who doesn’t agree with your views.
74. Life is exceedingly brief and passes much faster than you think.
75. Pay attention to the dream that keeps coming back.

Photo: Pottery Barn.